Shin's tales

Untitled

2011-04-06T17:26:00.003+08:00

I'd be lying if I said it hasn't been a while.

For some reason I've kinda lost the mood for blogging. Must be something to do with age. Or maybe I just ran out of words to express myself.

So..what's new? I don't know where to begin.

I graduated from uni. That's one thing.

The exhibition we all dreaded and loved is officially over. It was an enjoyable experience, and I miss all the core members who plowed through the final semester together with me. Wish we could turn back time to that phase.

I moved out of Cyberjaya after 4 years of calling that place my second (or sometimes third) home.

After that I spent Christmas till the first week of January in KK with my girlfriend and family. My cousin got married the first day of January, making her wedding date : 1/1/11. Returned to Brunei shortly after and then returned to KL.

Spent sometime job-hunting and looking for a new place to stay. Took a while but I guess I have a job now. I don't know how long I'll have this job for but I guess I'll hang in there as long as I can.

Right now I'm living with Kev (yeah another Kev) in Sentul, where things are more convenient than they used to be back in Cyber. Access to public transportation (we live next to the LRT station) and plenty of non-halal food around to enjoy.

I spend shitloads of my time now on 3Ds Max, which is hardly any difference from the last two semesters in uni, except now people expect something when I spend hours facing the screen. (Although there are still some fools who think rendering takes less than a second to complete.)

I'm..not fully satisfied at the moment with my life. But from what I can see, almost everyone I know who graduated the same time as me are somewhat in a lost phase. For now, I'll keep at it and see where I end up. Signing off from work.

My Results

2010-12-15T14:34:00.002+08:00

Probably the last ever e-result slips I'll receive in a long time. Who knows, if things go my way, I'll be taking up that Business Law Degree sooner than I think. Anyways, graduation on the 18th, so congratulations to those who earned their degree with their own strengths, rather than those who chose to step on others to obtain one. I'd say shame on you, but you're gonna get screwed out there anyways.

Cheers.

Meh

2010-11-17T15:44:00.000+08:00

I realize I have not blogged in about a thousand years. Lately I have been swamped with assignments. Well to compensate I guess I'll post some videos I've worked on for my assignments.

Self Promo Video

Music Video

Exhibition Teaser Trailer

A lot of work. More videos to come. Now I know how movie production teams feel heh. All in all, I really want to get this semester over with..Had to submit my book design yesterday but got rejected cuz of pixelation, so now I need to reprint, RM120. Fuck.

Anyhow, I want to play DS freely and play League of Legends freely grahhhhh. The latest game I have on my DS is Pokemon Black, and even that I have not touched for ages.

Grwarggghh!!!

If you are in KL around 1st to 5th of December, please drop by Annexe Gallery to attend my class exhibition. For more information, please visit : http://momentus2010.com

Cheers.

2010-09-18T02:43:00.002+08:00

A flare of life was put out, just like a candle, about a two days ago. To be honest I feel sorry for the bloke, leaving his life just like that without a choice. The final thoughts of a dying person, I think I can imagine, but I don't know for sure what he was thinking. Thousands of lives fade away every single passing minute of the day, so death isn't as shocking. But that doesn't make death something less depressing than it already is.

We mourn the passing of a soul. But the fact is a thousand souls pass on every single day.

Why is it humans can only appreciate living near death? Life is as unpredictable as death is. When you're out of time, you wish you had more. Wish you had done more. Count your blessings, for we are but mere mortals. Regret now, not later.

I don't know you, even if I do know your name, but rest in peace. I hope your love can find its way to your loved ones even after life.

Epic Fail

2010-09-09T16:43:00.000+08:00

(8) - gerald |||| says:
*dam i was betting sean will wake up at 3pm
*its 4:40 and he is still sleeping
≈ Ļoη̉ξredwolƒ ≈ 【心】【-1201-】 ¤~7th ďvŧ×~¤ says:
*hell i woke up early than him
*i slept at 9
(8) - gerald |||| says:
*rofl
*u ordered food alrdy?
≈ Ļoη̉ξredwolƒ ≈ 【心】【-1201-】 ¤~7th ďvŧ×~¤ says:
*not yet
(8) - gerald |||| says:
*if u do, too bad. cos i was thinking of belanja you makan
*o wait
≈ Ļoη̉ξredwolƒ ≈ 【心】【-1201-】 ¤~7th ďvŧ×~¤ says:
*lol
(8) - gerald |||| says:
*rats
≈ Ļoη̉ξredwolƒ ≈ 【心】【-1201-】 ¤~7th ďvŧ×~¤ says:
*HOHOHOHOHO
(8) - gerald |||| says:
*damn fail
≈ Ļoη̉ξredwolƒ ≈ 【心】【-1201-】 ¤~7th ďvŧ×~¤ says:
*screenshot-ed
(8) - gerald |||| says:
*ccb

Idealist vs Realist

2010-09-05T04:11:00.002+08:00

Which of these two are you? What are your thoughts on idealism and realism? Do you pursue and dream of things while ignoring all other things, or are you the one who has no dreams and pushes forward through life facing the facts? Aim for the stars and drown in your dreams, or remain grounded without risk?

Weekly Self Analysis 2

2010-08-22T00:39:00.001+08:00

(New week, new entry.)

Not exactly the best second/third week to be having right now. But hey, what's life without its own ups and downs. The exhibition is really getting to me now. Well, not the exhibition per say, just the people involved in it. I don't know what I can do to quell the egomaniac virus going around in the class. Perhaps by thinking that I can do something about that situation makes me an egotistical person as well? Hmm, I wonder.

I don't understand why some people overreact to the smallest possible things and try to make a grand commotion out of it. I suppose there's really nothing I can do about it for now except press forward.

Classes are fine so far, nothing big going on that is sucking the soul right out of inside me yet. We have a music video assignment for Mr. Stone and I don't exactly know what I want to do for that particular assignment yet. I have a feeling I'll be mulling over this until I hit a dead end. The song I struck was Sting - Shape of My Heart, something pretty classic, but I guess there's a deeper meaning to the song behind the lyrics that I need to analyze before going in depth for the video.

Getting tired of putting up a facade for a lot of people around me who are constantly getting on my nerves. It's taking my focus away from the important things such as my assignments. I spend more time reflecting over the negative things rather than spend time thinking about the infinite possibilities. I feel like I've become a black hole over the past few years after the things I've experienced. Lost that ray of sunshine to guide my way back from the dark.

I think that's all for this week. I've made no real progress as a student. Heck, I don't think I've made much progress as a human being either. I'm falling behind. Desperately need to find something to grasp at, and I don't think religion will do me any good. God isn't exactly pulling on the right heart strings at the moment.

2010-08-15T17:34:00.002+08:00

(This post is for my assignment, due every Saturday. Since it's more like a self reflective thing, might as well post as an entry. Relevant anyhow.)

First week back on campus everything seems to be moving at a fast pace, unlike the holidays where everything is slow paced and relaxing. First task back on campus is of course to register with the faculty and the usual stuff. I dislike registering on the first day but it seems like things went well and by God's grace I managed to finish the whole registration process in under 4 hours for the very first time since foundation (since you get that whole parental privilege thing if you bring a guardian). Not much classes on the first week back as well, and as such we were all still in the holiday mood.

Well, the biggest worry I have in mind right now is how to fill up my portfolio as it's completely uninteresting and probably not very packed at all, unlike the senior's portfolios that we have seen. Feels like there is a tough burden to keep up with the standards and especially since there is a big expectation on our batch as well.

Second thing on the worry list is the student's graduation exhibition and showcase. I reckon it's a real big mess right now. The hierarchy is set up, and I happen to be one of the leaders for one of the sub-groups, which is the video Team, but it seems some people are unhappy about that. All I can do is to show them what I can do I suppose. Some people love creating drama in our class after all. They love making scenes and getting the attention even though they do not have the skills to compensate for their big talks and loud voices. It's depressing that these people call themselves adults and professionals. But then, can't sink to their level and must maintain the team dynamics for the sake of the greater good and all that crap.

Lastly, something to reflect on my feelings:

I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind
I left my body laying somewhere in the sands of time
I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
I feel there is nothing I can do...yeah.

-Kryptonite, 3 Doors Down.

Because I am vulnerable and weak right now.

How's Life?

2010-08-08T06:22:00.003+08:00

Interestingly enough, pretty dull. Back in college means going through the same everyday mundane routine. That's more or less the deal right now. I wake up, wash up, head off to campus, have breakfast, attend class, go to the faculty, have group meetings, think about assignments, the future, my girlfriend, etc..

It's strangely tiring. But somehow refreshing..odd. Well, I suppose it has something to do with having nothing to do at all during the holidays. That's excluding the KK trip. Speaking of which, pictures to upload; note to self.

I've been overcome with a plague of procrastination and laziness. I want to get this phase of my life over with as fast as I can. Get my degree, and get my own place, and my own job. Pre-mid life crisis anyone? Hrm.

Played a lot of League of Legends (LoL) lately. Don't know why. Getting back into the gaming hype? I'm planning on getting a lot of things. Maybe some of those things I don't really need but yeah. I rarely get anything for myself..so I guess I deserve to go on a shopping spree.

Checklist:
-New Laptop (Alienware anyone? Macbook? Considering my options.)
-New External HDD x2 (My girlfriend and my brother are both asking for it.)
-New Digicam (Birthday/Anniversary/Christmas present 3 in 1 for the lady)
-New DS (Cuz mine's almost past expiration date)

Well that's about it so far. Maybe a new haircut to boot. Or a new attitude. Maybe I'm not 'sassy' enough lol, whatever that means. Anything I want not on that wishlist? Hm, maybe have the girlfriend come over here for vacation/studies would be nice. But I know that's a tall order, for sure. I can always dream, heh.

Sometimes I wish I can pull of a KBNJ and split myself into multiple entities. Never enough time to do good things. Read a book. Hang out with friends. Watch a movie. Blah. Last sem in college. Hopefully everything goes well. No real plans this semester. Maybe everything is spontaneous. Cheers. Signing off.

PS: I find myself obsessing over country music lately. Must have been infected by Christian Kane from Leverage. =/

2010-06-28T00:51:00.001+08:00

One more kiss could be the best thing
Or one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And your not something I deserve

CHORUS
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
And you love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
And I know what I'm going through

CHORUS
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
And you love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, just let me go, let me go

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside
I know, I know
But all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows, who knows

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, just let me go

(you don't know)
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
(you don't know)
You love me but you don't know who I am

(you don't know)
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
(you don't know)
You love me but you don't know me

2010-06-20T04:15:00.002+08:00

I think a blog, fair to say, my -own- blog, is the perfect place to let my emotions run loose at this hour when I face the screen and have nobody to talk to.

First of all, I do not think myself above the average person. I prefer to see myself as a 'Jack of All Trades' and with that comes the next half of that phrase 'Yet Master of None'. I am not perfect.

Let that sentence maintain cryptic to some of you. I don't plan on exposing my bare anger to the whole world tonight. It is after all, father's day.

I'd like to think I am just and patient, with almost everyone around me. Some of you pull my heartstrings easier than others, and yet some of you know how to tick me off like a package of compound explosives. When you are facing troubles, I would do what I can to offer my help, assistance or whatever it may be that you need. However sometimes when I am facing something, it is so easy for you to have your backs turned. That is simply amazing and it just puts a cynical smile on my face.

I can swear I have gone beyond the limit this semester. The reservoir of my patience has been run dry and thin. The first time I've felt that I am going insane. The first time I felt that hiding behind the mask and bottling everything up is no longer an option. Yet I do this anyway. I'm not trying to make myself some Saint or Martyr, and I know the weight of the world is not on my shoulders.

I am edging towards being a lest trustful person, cold, bitter and resentful. Yet some of you say this cold demeanor not suitable of my nature. So tell me, what am I supposed to do? Let some of you take advantage of me while you can?

If I could get drunk and drown my sorrows in alcohol like most of you can, I might certainly be doing that right now. I've never felt so bloodthirsty in my life before. So angry and so full of bitterness that I want to hurt someone so badly. I thought I lost all the temper I had to lose many years ago. Looks like I'm wrong. I've never laid a hand, said a word, to anybody, for 6 long years. I'm afraid if I am pushed any further than I can go, ignored, dismissed or neglected anymore, I will snap, and I won't hold anything back anymore.

I'm starting to lose faith in myself that I feel like I'm sinking back into darkness.

I will continue with my masquerade. I hope things change. I really do hope so. For my sake, and for yours.

Random

2010-06-18T16:53:00.001+08:00

Not too bad. Considering that my line is shared between 5 others. I bet if they go on holiday it would be much faster lol.

2010-06-06T17:30:00.000+08:00

Do not assume that he who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, he would never have been able to find these words.

Tired

2010-06-01T04:21:00.003+08:00

I prefer to believe in the goodness of people, to have faith that people can change or that some people mean you no harm.

Sometime ago I stopped trusting so easily.

I'm tired of throwing myself into people's arms and getting cut again.

Someone who wields a gun is not always a killer.
Someone who preaches is not always a saint.

People are not who they say they are. Behind their masks are their faces, and behind their skeletal figures come fabrications and fabrications of truth and deceit.

People are not to be trusted from that one moment when you're speaking to them. They are to be judged from all their past actions put together.

I am bitter, I am broken, and I am tired. I need to rest. I need to sleep.

At this moment, I do not want to be lectured or preached at. Just let me breathe the way I should and take the number of breaths I should at the right moments.

Crisis

2010-05-31T09:30:00.002+08:00

During crisis, some people retire into logic and try to look at things from a perspective. Some people prefer to tear themselves apart to look at the root of things. Some people turn to religion, some to science, some to love, some lock themselves away in solitude to escape their problems. I don't know what I should do anymore. Looking at it from an objective point of view, I guess it means I'm being put to the test. Well, I need to reassess my life and my relationships with people from this point on, before I lock myself away from all the people that I care about.

I have not slept peacefully the past few weeks. My soul is somewhere out there, and I'll get it back somehow sooner or later.

Lifehouse - Everything

2010-05-28T01:30:00.001+08:00

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

------------

I wish I could be with you right now.

Current Tasks

2010-05-26T23:29:00.003+08:00

3D

-Correction for assignment 1.
-Assignment 2 at 70-80%. Compile and merge all projects, animate camera and render.
-Burn all assignments into DVD.

Multimedia Minor

-Compile things needed : Flour, Costume, Ink, Paper.
-Plan shot list.
-Shoot Friday.
-Edit video. Show progress.

Multimedia Major

-Perform VA, edit.
-Add in music, smooth transitions out, credits. Render.
-Interactive website: Sketch, Vectorize, Code in Flash.
-Journal.

Design Management

-Compile Research and analyze remaining topics, perform correction to existing content, due coming Thursday.
-Was appointed leader for final assignment: Value management
-Write questionnaire, get at least 10-2o responses.
-Either do a 3D mockup or Photoshop. 3D is preferred option due to animation capabilities.
-Video shooting for Value Management. Present ASAP.
-Group and individual report for Value Management.

---------------------
How would you like to be in my shoes right now? I have 1 week left to do all these. At best I have 1 more week extension. That's about it.

Trends and Individuality : A Rant.

2010-05-26T03:01:00.002+08:00

At the moment that I am typing this blog, maybe a hundred, or even a thousand people are trying to start new trends. But what starts trends? Individuals. People who are at the peak or the edge of the tipping point. People who are responsible of carrying the first strain of a viral effect that may take over the globe.

That being said, can everything or anything be popularized and made trendy? Perhaps.

So what makes and individual unique and able as a trend-setter? Some people think that they stand out of the crowd, because they do not follow the crowd. But merely that is not enough to be someone responsible for a global tipping point.

Nowadays, it's hard to find truly unique individuals. Because most people now are influenced by something or someone, and perhaps that thing or person who influenced them was influenced by something and someone else before, etc. It's a never ending chain of influence. The music you listen to, the clothes you wear, the way you put your hair up in the morning, all these have been carried along by other people and passed on to you, whether you realize it or not.

So what's unique? I suppose you can say a person who takes something that is already made, changes it and makes it his or her own thing can be considered unique. People who create evolution are at the leaders of a revolution. I suppose these people are trend setters.

But of course despite people being like people, everyone is susceptible to peer pressure. Most humans are weak willed, lacking discipline or self control. You will succumb to trying /buying/achieving what your peers claim to be 'freaking awesome and dope'. But then again of course this doesn't apply to everyone. I'll assume at this point that 80% of the world are people who merely following trends not realizing that there's another 20% of the world who start these trends. A trend, regardless of good or bad, is still a trend. For instance how most kids these days are more promiscuous because someone gave the 'OK' to have sex in their circle of friends. If a 13 year old kid walks up to you and told you he 'totally got laid last night', and if you're 13 as well, most like the scenario will go as follows:

Your ego sets in and tells you its wrong to have sex because you don't know what love is and you don't wanna hurt someone.

Your id tells you to screw your ideals and just do it anyways because you can have mind blowing orgasms and tell your 'war stories' to someone later and it's gonna be cool, so you begin contemplating.

And then your superego kicks in last and puts some imaginative scenarios in your head, giving you a good reason to go get laid. Maybe make up a sob story about having cancer or something like that.

Lastly, you either do it, or don't. I'm guessing most people will go do it at this point, or waste time contemplating and then going ahead with it anyways in the end. Best case scenario would be sticking to your ideals, but lets think reality, who does that nowadays? You can fight for individuality, trying to be special, but truth is, there is truly nothing really unique in the world anymore.

Unless of course, we're talking about something out of this world.

-------------------------------------

So what about us designers? Where do we stand? As creators of something new? Or people who make use of what's given to us and merely giving it a new identity? Or are we just people who follow the trends and try to ride the wave while its high? I don't know. I'm lost there...why don't you tell me 5 years from now?

Simple Plan - Save You

2010-05-23T20:38:00.001+08:00

Take a breath, I pull myself together
Just another stair until I reach the door
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something to take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear you voice it's drowning in whispers
It's just skin and bones, it's nothing left to take
And no matter what I do I can't make you feel better
If I only I could find the answer to help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

That if you fall, stumble down I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up 'cause I'll be waiting
If you fall you know I'll be there for you

If only I could find the answer to take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

I wish I could save you, I want you to know
I wish I could save you

-------------------------------------------------------

Just a little something. Dunno why but it kinda suits my mood right now. Song triggers something deep inside of me. Hmm..

Sleepless.

2010-05-21T04:27:00.002+08:00

So I just went down to refill my drinking water supply. Can't sleep. Had a long week. Maybe my body is malfunctioning, heh. Right now I'm just feeling bitter because most people are having their holidays now. Well, that's just me. I had a long and tiring week after all. Can't blame me for having residual anger leftover from some shithole incident that happened this week.

Hmm. I don't know what else to say. I've this feeling where I just need to get up and hit someone maybe just to feel better about myself. There's a couple of people I would like to deck, but too bad they're too far away. That's right. I might've become a sadist after being so bitter a long time. It's not that I'm not happy with my work, or my work is making me unhappy. But circumstantial things happen here and there that affect me and just tick me off. Although I won't expect people to just understand that. Sometimes there are things you can and cannot say, because it might affect others as a whole.

So..what else is there to do? Bottle it up. That's right. But that makes things more difficult. The risk is high. The line is drawn thinner now. That is to say, if I ever see you around, I will grind my fists into your ribs so hard you'd want to puke. Hmm. Too bad you don't read my blog. I would feel much happier if I could threaten you in the open.

Ah well. I can't sleep. There's too much going on in my mind. I hope my planned vacation goes well. It's the only thing that's keeping me going right now.

I just have to say this though. I hate fuckers who love to intervene into other people's relationships and make things rocky between two really nice people who have a nice thing going just because they're bitter for not having a nice relationship. I want to destroy these kinds of people, if I ever met them in real life. Can't leave people alone? Itching to be killed? Don't let me catch you..

I'm gonna cool off and soak in some 3D polygons..and probably catch some sleep..

2010-05-09T17:30:00.000+08:00

I'll take all the pain myself. Cheers.

Songlist

2010-05-02T05:38:00.001+08:00

This is for my reference, but do enjoy the songs. I don't know where else to put these before I forget them.

Messed Up.

2010-04-26T18:26:00.002+08:00

My whole student life just came crashing down on me, and there's not a single pillar to support me where I stand. I have to complete what is usually done within 2 months in 3 weeks, which is nearly impossible. Even if it is, the quality will be bullshit, and I won't be satisfied with that. Even if I kill myself by not sleeping at all for 3 weeks, which is what I am already doing the past few weeks, it won't make much difference. I'll just be more cranky. I don't want to hear that bullshit that says that this is preparing us for the worst in the working world because no fucking way in hell are we in the working world right now. Right now I'm a student. A professional but then still a student. I am paying money to be educated properly for 2 months in how to complete my work as a professional, not to rush crap work in 3 weeks time. I think I've said more than necessary. I really am trying my best to make my stand here, to not quit halfway, but right now, that lack of support is really killing my confidence. Cheers to whoever is reading this, may your life be brighter than mine at the moment. I know there are far worst situations to be in, but put yourself in my shoes, measure my workload, the effort I've put in for this semester, the amount of fees I pay, how my parents will feel if I fail, the pressure my classmates are experiencing, then I dare you to say something witty about it. Seriously, I dare you. Right now, all I want to say is : screw you Curtin, for informing LimKokWing about the semester being cut short so late, and screw you LimKokWing for not even trying to fight for our student's rights. And screw anyone not directly in my circle but having influence over making my life miserable. You won't see this, but screw you anyways. Have a great life.

2010-04-26T02:24:00.002+08:00

FUCK FUCK FUCK. I AM NOT IN THE MOOD TO LISTEN TO REASONING RIGHT NOW. SO FUCK THIS ALRIGHT?

2010-04-26T02:06:00.002+08:00

It's never about me..so why should I matter at all?

Rant

2010-04-24T04:09:00.002+08:00

It's tiring trying to suit your groove to everyone's life. It's tiring how nobody appreciates you trying. It's tiring. It's just too tiring.

It's funny how others wish they met you earlier and the people you've already met don't give a crap about you.

It's weird how time flies by when you need to do a lot of things at once, but time goes slowly when you don't really need to do anything much at all.

It's really easy to say things to others when you're not in their shoes.

But in the end everything I say here will mean naught. Because words are forgotten easily. Words lose their meaning over time. Even words like : "I Love You." dissolve in marriages that are supposed to last a lifetime according to some.

Right now I wish I could ignore the world. Right now I wish I was with you. I don't want anyone else. I don't need anyone else. I want you. But right now is not the time. Time to snap back into reality and get back to work.

I'm just a cold blooded jerk in the inside after all.

My Life So Far

2010-04-22T00:57:00.002+08:00

If you were to ask me: How's life?, I won't be able to give you a straight answer. Between feeling stressing for assignments and maintaining a strict budget to make sure I have enough money to even DO my assignments and juggling my emotions to make sure I do not become an idiot to the ones I love, I'd say life is so-so.

I know, sounds like I'm dramatizing my life a lot. It's not all that bad all the time of course. But when it's bad, it's really BAD. Now, people tend to underestimate the life of a designer, or that of a student designer. Also, people tend to badmouth LimKokWing university, which I seriously don't mind because of the crappy administration here, but seriously, I bet my life that some of the dipshits that make light of my course won't survive 1 month here doing my assignments.

Well, that's just bad ranting. I've too many things on my mind right now. Let me just list a few of them down:

- At least 400-450 pages worth of Topic Analysis for the dreadful Design Management. Yes, it's something like Business Management, go figure.
- Negotiation Interview/Roleplay, yes, that means we need to film stuff. Reports come with this assignment.
- Focus Group and Facilitation Group reports
- FILMING for my major and minor in Multimedia. That's TWO films. I don't mind but it's costing shitloads of money. RM1k for cameraman service. How's that sound? Great? No? I bet you my dad isn't happy. For your info, why I don't have my own camera : Camera body :RM2k+, Lenses RM2k+.
- Flash website.
- Location issues for my first film. No idea for my 2nd film yet. Not even a treatment or concept.
- Loads of presentations to go.
- My lecturer's expectations for me to excel in 3D just shot up the roof. I'm currently modelling a full detail car inside-out.

That's more or less it for my assignment half. I won't go into detail my personal and emotional issues, cuz that just highlights how much of a jackass I am. I guess that's all for now. Needed some ranting space. Hardly anyone to talk to about these things. Cheers.

My Dear

2010-04-05T20:55:00.000+08:00

This is the girl I wanna marry and be with forever. Comments should go here : http://www.facebook.com/rainmin#!/photo.php?pid=4330663&id=723151668

Thoughts?

2010-03-18T02:53:00.002+08:00

I present to you..The Crimson Crystal Condor Bike. Lol. Yes I know CCCB. I dunno what to name it. I'll try to render a back view of it whenever I can. Thoughts? Comments? I know it looks damn organic for a bike. When commenting please ignore the laws of physics and know that it's not meant to be ridden. Cheers~

Sometimes..

2010-03-13T01:33:00.001+08:00

I just wanna ask..

Will you marry me? =)

Interior Modeling 3D

2010-03-10T23:03:00.002+08:00

The render shots look kinda low-res, so bear with me. I've no idea how to change render settings yet. Well, it's my first interior for my first class, hope to pull off more stunts soon. =D

My first ZBrush 3D Polygon thingie..

2010-03-10T00:52:00.003+08:00

A little low res, but enjoy? I'll post my progress as I go on. I've got something on 3dsmax as well, but I'm a little lazy to post that now. Cheers.

So I've moved.

2010-03-02T22:29:00.003+08:00

Which is great and all, but I wish I had some place to store my boxes. Having them in my medium sized bedroom isn't really convenient. It's taking up space. No pics for now, but my room looks like an office right now lol. Door opens, you see a sofa, bookshelves on the left (with my books still not organized in order of volume/title) and on your right my table with my god-awesome desktop (which I will be upgrading once I procure the funds necessary! RAM and new external HDD/2TB here I come!) and after my table comes my bed which is next to a window. It's fine and all for now. I'm paying RM450 per month for my medium-sized unfurnished room, inclusive of water bills and internet bills and also any electricity I use which does not include that of my own room.

Well, the semester has started, and unfortunately I don't feel as hyped up as I'm supposed to be, or at least not yet eh? I've been meaning to practice and sharpen my strengths, and maybe cover up some of my weaknesses as a designer/artist/student. Right now I've gotten myself in some trouble (hehe) cuz I got hooked by an online game called Shin Megami Tensei Online: Imagine, or Imagine or just Megaten for short. I'm sure its not common with most of you.

If you were playing Pokemon at the age of 10, I was playing Shin Megami Tensei. When you were using Pikachu and toasting Pidgeys with Thundershock, I was summoning the 7 sins, demons, archangels and various mythological creatures to prevent/cause the end of the world. Well, you can see the contrast there. I've always been hooked on myths, lores and the sorts. Recently I bought the whole set of Percy Jackson and the Olympian books. Its an interesting read, seeing as how they mix the modern age with Greek myths. The english is simple (aimed at 9 year olds and above, lol) but still, whatever kills time and educates you right? Also bought a stack of motivational/psychological books to read. Well, you get my point.

I'd get into details of how my life is right now besides the small things, but ah, I don't feel like it just yet. Supposedly I have 4 other housemates but so far there's only 1 that's here. The others are prolly not back yet, or will never ever move in. Anyways, I need to do my sofa over. It's dusty and needs some fixing. All in all, life is fine. Could be better, or worst. Better soon, I hope. Will try to update once a week from now on. =D Cheers~

2010-02-25T18:25:00.002+08:00

Something else that I worked on the past few days without an internet connection at home. Might look better full-view. Anyways. Lots of shit happened today. I'm tired and exhausted as hell, but the very least I have an internet connection right now. Went to Tmnuts to pay my internet bill and cancel, but looks like I can't cancel the same day they activate my line. So I'll have to do that on Monday. I walked to the nearest Maybank because the ATM at TM was busted (tough luck) and well, the heat didn't help my travel much. After that I found out the room I'm supposed to move in was given away to someone else because I didn't come back on time to move in and all. And of course after that I had a panic attack. Went to Cyberia and thank the gods there was ONE damned room left for me to take. Same price, better offer, so why not? I guess the universe works in mysterious ways. Well, I'm off to download the shows I missed the last week. Cheers.

Back in KL

2010-02-22T15:30:00.003+08:00

Well, the header explains a lot. I'm finally back in KL, scheduled to re-register for classes tomorrow. At the moment I am netless, and just a few hours ago, the water supply to my house was cut off. Disadvantages of staying alone with nobody to count on over here. I'm at Starbucks right now, after paying off my electric bills a while ago. Really, I'm usually not a fan of spending over RM10 for a cup of ice blended drink, but right now, it's much better than being alone at home and netless.

Doing everything alone kinda sucks, but I guess I'm getting used to it. My Chinese New Year was fine. Nothing much, just the usual family reunion and all. It's good to see familiar faces, even if it is only once a year. The younger generation are growing up so fast (not to mention taller too), and we are growing older as well.

Anyways, I've been testing out my old tablet during my netless days. What you see up there is what I came up with last night after an hour or so of messing around. It's not much, but I guess this beats all the previous crappy stuff I've conjured up before using a tablet.

I've a lot of aims this year. Graduating is the top priority of course. If things go as planned, I might have a job a few months after my graduation and maybe my own apartment (hells yeah!) in KL. That's right. Not gonna return to Brunei to work. At least not for now. The clients there are horrible, and I suppose getting regular wages from a boss is better than not getting paid by clients.

For now, I'll enjoy my Percy Jackson and Malcom Gladwell books, sip on my Caramel Ice Blended thingie and download things so I won't be dead bored at home. On a side note, a very belated Happy Chinese New Year and Valentine's day to all those I never greeted properly. I'll catch you all up once I settle down and moved into my new place. Hopefully that goes without a hitch. =)

2010-02-06T02:08:00.001+08:00

Time lost cannot be brought back, nor can it be replaced.

Scars on the heart don't mend easily.

Think your actions through twice, thrice if necessary.

2010-02-05T11:23:00.000+08:00

I hate you. Seriously.

My Patience

2010-02-02T21:46:00.002+08:00

I'm trying hard to hang on to every bit of sanity I have left while maintaining this level of patience. It's not easy. But I'm trying. The least that the universe can provide me with is more fairness. This doesn't feel like a holiday at all, all the stress piling and pouring in. Give me a break, can? Sometimes I wish I could care less about other people who just screw my life up. Just stop getting in my way. If I'm going to go through a hellish final year, don't I deserve to be happy just for now? Sometimes the circumstances in my life are just made up of pure bullshit trivial things that I should really not give a damn about. So yes, I feel like a jerk, maybe I am one at the moment. But no, it's fine that I am self-inflicting, right?

I swear, I might just rip off the throat of the next person who pisses me off.

It's been a while.

2010-01-26T21:04:00.003+08:00

I haven't had any urges to blog lately, maybe because I've been bottling up whatever is bothering me. Anyways, piece of good news today. I got my results. Looks like it's time to face the final year head on. I hope I manage to pull through. I need to work on my portfolio too. =/ Anyways, here it is.

2010

2010-01-15T09:54:00.002+08:00

Started out fresh and fine. Nothing exciting, nothing too demoralizing, at least not yet. Resolutions? Nothing special, just finish up my degree and move on to a better lifestyle. I keep forgetting I'm gonna be 20 this year. Not that it's anything special. Another year of celebrating my birthday in KL without the ones I love. I've started the year with no motivation, but I guess it'll pick up soon considering the hell I'm gonna start going through for my final year. Oh god, I hope I don't run into anymore craftsmanship shit. Other than that..I don't know. Not feeling very chatty. Well, prolly gonna update if there's anything interesting. My time in Brunei is feeling so short right now.

Sometimes..

2009-12-28T04:52:00.000+08:00

..life is just simply heartbreaking..

Preview

2009-12-27T00:12:00.002+08:00

Preview: ~~Truth~~ Dare or Dare?

Hello everyone, the name's Terrence Madcap. Terry fer short. I know, I've got a strange family name. But that's besides the point that I'm trying to make here.

Anyways, I've just entered high school 3 months ago as a freshman. 'Now that I'm officially in high school, I feel like I'm taking small little steps towards adulthood. It's sort of exciting I suppose. A dream-like world is waiting for me on that other side. Making new friends, and perhaps even bittersweet romances with the cutest girl in school could occur. But..such a dream-like world doesn't really exist. Even I know that. So what exactly am I supposed to do?'..is what a normal freshman would have in mind. I don't see the world that way. It's boring. My life is boring. So what if you have friends? So what if you're tapping the hottest girl in school? So what if you're lost between the boundary of fantasy and reality?

That was all in the past. All I know is, my whole world changed when I met him. Joseph 'Joe Diablos' Grady, the ringleader of the Truth or Dare society. To be more precise, the Dare and Dare society. Judging from the nickname he has, you would expect the man to be a little more intimidating right? Well, this is where the old saying 'Don't judge a book by it's freaking cover' comes to play.

But enough about Joe. I bet you're curious about the DND (Dare and Dare) that I've mentioned a while ago. Although it's supposed to be a secret, I guess I can spill a little. No harm, right?

It all started when I first entered high school...-

To be continued..

2009-11-26T22:33:00.002+08:00

I haven't gotten my own freelance 'name' yet, but here's a basic list. Apparently there's another design firm called RedWolf Designs. Kinda upsetting. Guess I need another name.

Poster Design A4/A3/A2: BND75
Banner Design: BND100
Website Banner Design: BND50
Custom Art (Photo Montage, Vectors, Wallpapers etc) : BND15-50
Logo Design: BND75
Photo Edit (Simple Stuff): BND10 for 5 photos
Business Card Design: BND25
Brochure/Flyer/Leaflet Design: BND50
DVD/CD Label Design+DVD/CD Sticker: BND50 (Individual BND30)
T-Shirt Design: BND 50

Please provide necessary specifics: images to be used, information, colour preferences and resolution that you want.

Printing is to be done on your own. Prices are negotiable, or increased depending on difficulty of the request. Prices above are basic prices. Last minute requests will be charged extra. No extra charges for minimal edits.

2009-11-26T20:57:00.000+08:00

...48 hours till I launch my holiday project. Less than 24 hours till I see you again.

Missing Out...

2009-11-17T21:52:00.002+08:00

Things are not okay..when I know I'm missing out on a lot of things. Well, the least I can do is act as if things are fine. Lol. Missed your birthday. Will be missing the Leonids shower later on. Will be missing your dance performance. God knows what else. Just 2 more damn long weeks..Sigh..Feel like dying here. It's been a while since I've said that..Still so many things to do! FUCK.

2009-11-10T15:37:00.001+08:00

Presentation went well, I think. Will strive to do better for my final. Looking forward to completing it. For now, my other assignments await me.

Motion Graphics Assignment 2

2009-11-08T21:57:00.002+08:00

Here it is, my 2nd MG Assignment. Batik promotion. Content is dull, but I wanted to make my points quick. Well, improved camera handling effects this time. Enjoy, and constructive comments much appreciated as usual.

2009-11-06T17:47:00.002+08:00

The life you're living is the outcome of the decisions you make in life. Seriously. If your life is shit, it's because you don't make the effort to crawl out of shit. You're not gonna get by life making unrealistic aspirations but not taking the necessary steps to reach your goals. You gotta realize at one point you're not only living your life, but your life connected to others. So when you drag people into shit, that's on you. If you want others to care for you, make an effort to care for others. Nobody's gonna hold your hand if you don't hold theirs. Don't leave people in shithole situations after they've done so much for you. They deserve your attention and respect. If they can get by their lives no matter how difficult it is and attend to you, you should be able to do the same for them, no excuses. Saying that you're not the same as that person is another pathetic excuse to just get by life lazily. If you want to live a life free of troubles, abandon all your relationships and become a hermit. Don't rely on anyone, and nobody will rely on you. Everyone wants something out of life.

2009-11-06T13:44:00.001+08:00

...how much more suffering must I go through? Sigh. I'm very very tired.

Warning : Repost from DVTX site.

2009-11-05T01:18:00.000+08:00

For my Motion Graphics and Animation class. Experiments and practices. I know I might as well go ahead and do my assignment instead of practicing, but hey, practice makes perfect. Will be looking forward to doing my assignments. Will post them up here when I finish with them. It's too bad I can't do any Motion Graphics when I'm in Brunei. =\ Laptop ain't powerful enough I guess.

Happy Birthday, My Dear =)

2009-11-01T14:32:00.003+08:00

This will be the 5th year that I have not been able to celebrate your birthday with you. It seems I'm always unlucky on that part. But nonetheless, wish you Happy 20th Birthday (Wow, we knew each other since you were 15. That makes me 14. o.o Time flies.)~ Here's something I pulled out of my pocket earlier.

To the girl who holds the key to my heart,
So many things to say, I don't know where to start,
But today is the day you blow on your candles,
You know that there's nothing you can't possibly handle,
You make some wishes for your dream,
Before you know it, your face is smeared with cream,
Despite the fact that you're now already twenty,
There's no need to rush, time is still aplenty,
All in all, that's all I have to say,
But before I forget, have a Happy Birthday. <3>

Love you lots dear. Presents only when I back yeah? =X Or you want..next year only then I give you? Let it gather dust here first lalala~ ;) Hope the path you've chosen in life works out, and even if things go wrong, remember that I'm always around for you.

2009-10-22T13:45:00.001+08:00

Emo > Suicidal. If you never studied math, > means better than or more than. In this context, it means better than. An emotional person is better off living sadly than someone who is in a rush to end their lives just because life gets a little tough. Deal with it.

2009-10-19T02:34:00.002+08:00

It's agonizing staying up late all alone, whether it is for the sake of doing assignments, or catching up with some shows. Because whatever I do, it doesn't feel whole. I guess its hard to explain, unless you've stayed alone for a period of time before. I'm one of those types who need some company, whether it is the form of virtual companion, or a real person to talk to. I know I'm the passive and quiet type most of the time, but yeah, this is killing me at times. It's not like I don't have friends. It's not like I'm not making new ones. Good people don't exactly grow on trees, and people with a lot of free time in uni don't exactly come around often. Cuz' technically, people hardly have time. The exception is, of course, that you're extraordinarily lazy to the bones. Gah. Lost my train of thought..don't remember what else I wanted to blog about. Well, I guess I'll continue some other day..or night.

Zen of the Day

2009-10-17T21:20:00.001+08:00

Nothing in this universe is scheduled to happen only once.

Infinity goes both directions.

There is no unique event, not singular moment.

This means chances come more often than you think.

Try not to miss any.

Re-Up : Move My Name

2009-10-15T23:28:00.002+08:00

Lazy to edit my post. Posted on youtube. Video available in HQ if you visit the actual link. Comments for improvements much appreciated. I think I'm gonna rock my final assignment. Already have an idea for it.

Testing 1,2,3.

2009-10-14T14:56:00.002+08:00

Ngaanku nopo nga e Kevin, Pakalaja zou doiho KL. Umulku nopo nga 19 toun, Izou diti mantad Tawau. Au poh nakasavo nga kivaa no koginavaanku. Izou diti tuhun Sino-Kadazan nga au zou koiho moboos Kadazan. Anangan zou balajal moboos Kadazan tu oikuman zou sabab, Kadazan zou nga au koiho moboos. Kotohuadan.

ROFL.

Testing. I think it's my first Kadazan post. Well, learned all these recently, so not sure if its accurate.

To translate, it means : My Name is Kevin, I work in KL. I'm 19 years of age and I'm from Tawau. I'm not married yet but I have someone I love. I'm Sino-Kadazan but I don't know how to speak Kadazan. I want to learn because I feel ashamed, that I am Kadazan but I can't speak it. Thanks.

=D

Cheers. Mugad zou kalas. I'm going to class now. Rawr.

Yaye~

2009-10-13T12:31:00.003+08:00

Not to brag but...my video was one of the better ones in presentation today. Could see that a lot of people did last minute and low effort work. While, some others, pitiable, were obstructed by lack of creativity and/or the language barrier problem. Top 5! Wuhu! (or 6, since someone asked the lecturer if his was good enough to be ranked too =O)

Aaanyways. Will be doing better for 2nd and 3rd assignment to thump out the rest of my competition. I feel my blood boiling mwahaha. Thanks to Min dear for being there for me when I was down! =O Well, I deserve a rest today, so gonna use it to catch up to some more shows. Downloading TBBT, HIMYM and Heroes as we speak. Ciao people!

Rawr : My Name?

2009-10-12T18:31:00.005+08:00

Well, what you see above is the lower quality version (not HD) of my Motion Graphics and Animation Assignment 1, Move your Name. Finished this earlier today. I feel great after finishing it, since it's my very first 30 second clip. Yeah I've made a couple few 5-6 seconds one before, but this is something different I guess. It may seem plain and simple, but there's about 730 frames there. Time taken approximately 8 hours, when I remove the things I did in between lol. Will be mosting my Final Video up whenever that's done too. Sorry for the lack of entries, but been really busy. Whatever free time I have, I spend sleeping. =\ That's how hectic things are now. Well, toodles, untill next time.

PS: Somehow the image of the player repeats a second time. Can't get that removed. Oh well.

2009-10-07T00:40:00.002+08:00

Welcome to Japan. Where girls, both real and hologram...para para on the streets. Btw, she's a 13 year old with bust of around 80cm. Correct me if I'm wrong but I think that's around...D or E Cup at best? =X She's working for SEGA, in their new motion tracking software..as you can see from the hologram on the right. The hologram programmed to track her motion based on some...stuff they planted on her body.

Won't be blogging for a while. Assignment's got me all choked up. Staying alone has gotten my screws loose too. Anyways. I leave you with a dancing moe girl with huge bustline for a 13 yeard old until I get back. Enjoy =X

Monday, Tuesday?

2009-09-29T11:53:00.001+08:00

Funny. This morning I woke up at 8, went to campus at 9. Reached class at 9.15am. I looked at my phone. It says : Monday. Lol. I freaked out. Naturally I was nearly convinced it was Monday until I saw the lecturer come down the hallway. Guess when my phone battery died a while back I forgot to set it a day ahead. For those of you who didn't get it, I thought I came to campus a day early for class. Peace out amigos.

M.I.A

2009-09-12T01:59:00.002+08:00

Well. I've been missing for over two days now. Not that I supposed a lot of people noticed or anything. But yeah. My line got cut over some misunderstanding. I paid my bills, but they still got cut, so no, I did not neglect or made any late payments. Somehow, there was a case of identity theft, since the owner of my phone and internet line is my cousin, Gerald. He lost his IC last last year, and last year another account was opened up under his name except he didn't open it at all. Debt of over RM2000+, can you believe that? They thought because it was the same owner they'd shut down all of his accounts, including the one I'm using. Hm.

Now that that's passed, let's move on to other things. I've been stuck at home for the last few days doing nothing much, no work, since I have no net, most of the things I needed weren't accessible. I've been watching The Mentalist, something I downloaded a while before my net died, it's not too bad I suppose. Also playing the PS2, reading up on old books, and catching up on sleep.

Overall, I'm depressed. Well, no real big reason, just some minor upset because my mind strayed across the happy line. Why? Hmm, my future isn't looking too bright at the moment. No, I don't mean career-wise, and no, I haven't been diagnosed with a deadly disease (yet). I suppose it's gonna be pretty hard to explain and expect other people to understand since my issues may seem tedious, but to let some light shine on it a bit, it is financially related, somehow.

I would rant on and on, but somehow I don't think that would help. If anyone knows how I can acquire funding of a large amount, but legally of course, and would like to share those methods with me, just chat me up or something. I'd like to hear some thoughts on the matter. Regarding what I need it for, well, let's just say I would like someone to stick closer to me and all. I guess I sound like an idiot, but oh well. Maybe I'm just delaying the inevitable, but I'll be giving it my all to make sure some things work out in my favor somehow. After all, my future is in my hands, is it not?

999

2009-09-09T14:26:00.001+08:00

Ah, I just noticed today is 999. Lol, if only that could explain the bizarre traffic jam this morning that caused me to miss class. Damn.

2009-09-06T05:12:00.001+08:00

I'm shedding tears at 5am for you.

Feelings..

2009-09-05T05:22:00.002+08:00

..can be faked, you know? For instance..pretending to love someone. Well, not that it means anything. Just being random at a random hour. Feeling a little paranoia lately, some old feelings resurfacing. Ah well, time for me to catch some shut-eye.

Sometimes.

2009-08-31T15:01:00.003+08:00

"We only see two things in people. What we want to see, and what they want to show us." -Harry Morgan

At this rate, I'm seeing nothing much, since well, not like there's a whole truckload of 'people' for me to see. Hurray for loneliness. +1 to my Independence stats. Alone at breakfast, alone at lunch, alone at dinner, laughing alone. I need my girlfriend here, seriously.

2009-08-27T02:37:00.002+08:00

..portfolio in the making. Hmm. And I'm looking for particular books at the moment..

Someone, get me these books, if you can. All by the same author, Jeff Lindsay.

Darkly Dreaming Dexter.
Dearly Devoted Dexter.
Dexter in the Dark.
Dexter by Design

Yes, book titles may sound gay. But then again, don't judge a book by its cover (or title). If you get it for me, you have my gratitude, and probably much more. I doubt that its gonna be easy to search for the last 2 books. There's another one not out yet..but I'm looking forward to it.

My eyes cry tears of blood, my heart screams but I don't say a word.

2009-08-26T02:58:00.004+08:00

You make your life what it is.
You're in control of the decisions you make.
You're in control of your life.
You don't control other people.
You can't.
You can't control the emotions and actions of others.
If people want to screw your life, they will if they can.
The only thing you can do, is swallow it, take it, and move on.
You're allowed a few moments to swear, scream and complain.
After a while, it makes no difference.
There's a lot of ways to live.
There's a lot of ways to think.
You can think of how to live.
Or you can live to keep thinking.
We all hurt. We all bleed. We're never alone.
We have friends. We have family. Maybe it helps to open up to someone.
People blame. Because its easier to do so.
Blame life. Blame the world. Blame the people.
Because imperfections of others are easier to spot.
But what of our own?
If people do shit, then they deserve shit.
You don't need to dish the shit out.
Let someone else do the dirty work.

Hmm. My life is rubbish now. I believe it is. I hope it will turnaround soon. I'm lacking in patience. A lot of pent up anger, rage, fury, bitterness. Although, on the positive side, amongst all my friends, I'm going down the career path I planned earlier, I have the only girl I want back in my life, and I still have family and friends. Well..that's...3 out of, what now, a couple of hundred things lacking? I'm stumped, and I'm fucked. Right now, if you think you're fucked, make a checklist, and be thankful for the things you're not fucked for. Especially if you -still- have a chance to make things right.

Before you're tired of living, and have given up on living.
Bent on dying.
Remember.
The people who are on the death bed.
The people who have terminal cancer, months, weeks, days to live.
Soldiers in the frontline of battle.
Fighting to live.
People you know and don't know about.
Think about what they'd give to trade places with you.
Dying, is not as simple as you think.
Neither is living, but many would give to live.
Try putting your life on the line, live on the edge, if you feel nothing, then maybe you're better off dead and donating organs to people who need them.

Well..prolly said enough. I'm tired. More than you think. Maybe you're tired of me. I won't blame you. I can't blame you. But if there's something you want to say, please say it to me. I can't take silence. It fills my head with things I'd rather not remember, rather not think about. So, if you will..talk to me, and don't let my problems drown your voice out. Good night everyone.

Judging Others

2009-08-24T21:09:00.003+08:00

We all judge people by appearances. That's something undeniable. The 'don't judge others' bit, usually used when someone is worried others would judge them the same way, and afraid they're not up to the standards. Which isn't too bad sometimes. What contributes to our appearances though? That's simple..2 Gs : God and Genetics.

Firstly, there are elements of our appearance that's NOT within our control. That would be ethnicity, age, skin colour, general, or rather genetic shape and sizing. Not unless you have loads of dough and are willing to proceed with plastic surgery of some kind, then, by all means.

So what is within our grasps of control? That would be clothing, hairstyle, hygiene, and body language, to name a few. These reflect the personal choices, and these choices are a reflection of their outlook and attitude on life. Those attitudes then define the individual self.

Sometimes we are told, 'Don't Judge a book by its cover'. But generally speaking the book's cover does give some insight to what the contents would be. Let's say you can't read and are looking for a book about curtains, would you look for a book whose cover illustrates aeroplanes or monkeys?

You ought to understand. When you give someone a set of standards, and expect them to live by it, vigorously, are you prepared to be given another set of standards by your peers as well? Some people are content with their own selves. That's fine. Some people are not so content with their own selves, and are keen on changing. That's fine too. But pushing the limit is when you want others to change for your own satisfaction. Especially if its something not within control. Would you be able to change something that's integrated into you, that easily?

So..know when to judge, and what to judge. Or be prepared to be judged for your shortcomings as well. Other solutions? Go blind. Otherwise have the whole of humanity wear the same clothes, the same masks, have everyone go for surgery so that they'd appear the same. Judging people and their appearances may be an inborn instinct, but it can be put under proper control...by being tactful and minding other people's feelings.

Just my two cents of the day. Had a bad one. Nights.

RM750 and Single Lifestyle

2009-08-15T02:41:00.004+08:00

Well, so far, things are so-so. I won't say I'm having the time of my life being back here. Things are hectic and confusing. Come September, I'll be staying alone. Yes, that's right. No more housemates. Not that I moved out. See..during the holidays, my cousin Gerald, and classmate Sean, moved out. Then, I received news that Ang is going back to Brunei to study. Days ago, same news, this time, Kenny is the one to break it to me. Kenny is returning next week. Lol. Talk about last minute shit. Ang is returning on 28th.

So..starting from August 28th, I'm staying alone. Talk about 'single' lifestyle. Rent is how much? Rm750. No negotiations with landlady. At all. Compare that to my usual RM150. That's 5 times the rent I use to pay. Plus living expenses, art and printing expenses...blah. Contract is under my name and lasts till February next year. IF I'm still in KL next year, I doubt I will be staying at this place..although I'm a little hopeful that Min will come and join me. Well, there's still the chance of going overseas, although at the moment I'm unsure where, since I've never really paid a visit to the marketing department yet. Lots of questions, no time to ask them.

Sometimes I don't know what to think lol. It's so easy to have the pressure put on me. Well..we'll see I suppose. This year can't get any shittier than it already has, can it?

Well..going down to Wangsa to meet Larrie tomorrow, with the Big Thing. Thin Thing wants to stay home to fap apparently..no intention of leaving his nest. I hope this semester won't be a bitch, because I have enough housing and monetary issues already. Well, time to catch some sleep..need to wake up on time. Night folks.

Countdown,,

2009-08-09T18:06:00.003+08:00

..to a new semester. Well, it might or might not be the last semester I have here, but that all depends. I'm still thinking on where I should do my final year. Do I want to risk it in Perth or London? Or should I stay here if Min comes? Hmm, its not like my parents can't afford my education, but I guess it all boils down to me. Decisions decisions..

Well, at any rate. My new modules are:

1) Design in Context
2) Consumer Behaviour
3) Typographic Application
4) Animation & Motion Graphics

All being advancements of my previous modules except #4, which is something new. I'm hoping there won't be anymore web designs this semester..I think I'm not cut out for manual HTML and CSS coding ~.~

Well, I'm not looking forward to Typo that much unless they switch out the lecturer. I don't fancy the guy much, ever since he came last sem.

Hmm, Fucker #1 Kenny is coming back tonight, but I'm not sure if he's making a straight trip here or to his sister's place. I still have Hao's company for today, until Big Thing comes back tomorrow.

I'm waiting for my PS2 to come back from the repair shop, and for some new games to be out for the DS. That and I have a lot of shit bills to settle.

Hum, I guess that's about it. I miss dear lots, but she's been busy there as well. <3

The Voca People

2009-08-07T02:50:00.001+08:00

Bloody awesome I tell you. Cute too XD Vocal singing, Acapella, and lastly Beatboxing!

Random

2009-08-04T05:07:00.001+08:00

So..currently, technically home alone here.
Nothing much to do.
Been downloading old shows.
Results are out.
New modules are in.
Lastly...I wonder what I'm worth.
You decide.

Results.

2009-07-31T19:26:00.001+08:00

Nuff' said. I did okay I guess...screw typo though. Lol XD

Bleed

2009-07-15T01:44:00.002+08:00

Been in Brutown for almost a month. Had work here and there.

Clients include : Bridex, TAIB, BIBD, Pusat Ehsan..few other sidejobs.

Currently working on calender and notebook design for BIBD. Hmm, clients this time around are..bearable. Compared to the previous time I tried.

His Majesty made a pre-birthday titah, something about donations. Serves them right..the ones trying to use the media to publicize themselves by donating more money..and the ones who are asking for money like it is a fundraiser event.

Hum, been pretty bored lately. Waiting for results. No news yet.

I've been trying to play some games on my DS..that's about it. Went out a couple of times, difficult, due to the recent H1N1 cases and all. There's issues to resolve when I get back to KL as well. Cut off some of the weights that have been tying me down. Let's see how far I can go without those..

Hmm, there's some things that's been bothering me. But I guess my issues can be postponed. I've other things at hand I need to concern myself with. I'm fine I guess. But fine is just fine, not excellent, but I suppose that's better than depressed or treading in hell. New shows? Hardly any..I've been watching some of the old Sentai(not Hentai) series I re-downloaded. Kabuto, Den-O, Kiva..meh. Prolly nobody else who reads my blog has any idea what I'm saying, lol. Well, even if they did I suppose some would think it's childish, but that's just me assuming how others would judge me.

But hey, if you need designs done, banners, notebook cover, namecards, birthday cards, sticker design..blah, well you get my point. I think I may be able to set a special price..for friends, or friend's friends. Any more friends and I'll be losing money, hahaha. Well, you get my point. (I hope) Man needs his income, so he can feed his wife (lolwtf) and kids (infewyearstimelol).

Well, night folks. Hope those who have work can cope with the extra load, especially Burt, Irene and Manzy! And good luck to MinMin for the upcoming trials! Rawr, study hard and study smart!

Lol

2009-07-09T21:40:00.002+08:00

Look what I got in my mail today.

-----------------------

Dear students,

Kindly refer to the newsletter below:

Introduce your friends to register at Limkokwing University and get rewarded!

Introduce 1 friend and get RM600
Introduce 3 friends and get RM2,000
Introduce 5 friends and get a MacBook Pro worth RM6,000

Term & Conditions

The introducer must be a registered student at the Limkokwing University.
The introducer must accompany the applicant during the initial counseling. If unable to do so, a certification letter from the introducer is required.
The introducer and applicant are to fill up the Friend get a Friend Form.
The Counsellor present is to fill in and initial the remark section.
All applicants must be accompanied by the introducer during application or the introducer may submit the application form on behalf.
For verification, the introducer must submit all completed applications to the Marketing Department accompanied with a copy of the tuition fee receipt (from the applicant and a photo copy of the introducer's ID card).
All rewards will be settled within one month of processing.

Offer Available until 31st July 2009. For more information, kindly contact:

----------------------------

Yeah well, no, this isn't a hoax. Apparently this is official. Amazing innit'? XD Well too bad, most of the people I know aren't able to register till next year. Oh well, let's hope there's another one of these promotions next year.

2009-07-02T09:31:00.002+08:00

Last night. I couldn't take it anymore. The reality of things is..harsh. I cried like a baby, then I slept like one. Till right now. I slept, ignoring all the negativity, all the evil thoughts, all the anger and loneliness that I've contained. A sleep without dreams. But of course, once I woke up, put my two feet on the ground, all those emotions came flooding back. I was bitter. Such is life. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, combed my hair, put on some decent clothes..and proceeded to meet my client for work.

Sometimes there's pleasure not knowing. Knowing hurts. Knowing can drive someone insane. I'd rather not know, but my nature is curious to begin with. When you're alone, your mind wanders, and as to what extend it wanders, I have no clue.

My patience is running on thin ice now. Very thin. If you think you can mess around with my feelings, no matter who you are, I will snap. If you think it's funny, or you think right now the state that I am in is bad enough, then you probably don't know me that well. Care, Calm and Consideration the 3Cs will be lost. Well, I'm just saying.

What I'm doing right now is trying to distract myself, on my own, with other things. Let's just say it takes a lot to take my mind off things. Well, whatever. I just have to be strong. There's still people who depend on me..regardless of my state of mind. Let's just hope all this negativity shall dissipate on its own, shall we?

I'm gonna start a separate blog soon..to host my work so far. Let's just say I'm starting an online portfolio. I should get to designing it soon..and coding. Sigh. Well, let the Red Wolf Howl..

2009-06-30T22:12:00.001+08:00

Go Fuck Yourself.

Strange Rant

2009-06-30T21:39:00.003+08:00

The world revolves around you, is sometimes a fun concept.

However, thinking that it is fine for the world to be put into ruin for your sake, is nothing but a selfish thought.

People who shift in and out of your life whenever it is convenient for themselves. People who take advantage of your kindness and then leave you to rot when you need someone to back you. People who seek your attention when they are in need and when you're not needed you're left alone to ponder "Why is it this way?"

But no, luckily, this is bearable. What goes around comes around. Some people aren't as weak as you think they are. Fighting battles and wars everyday, doing what they can to survive, to shape the blank future with their hands. These people are not to be underestimated.

In a game of poker, if you have the winning card in your hand, would you be cautious on how to play it, sacrifice it, risk it or destroy yourself?

Sigh, I dunno. I'm randomly ranting. I'm having a bad day. Clients getting on my nerve. Not feeling well. The only texts and calls I'm getting are from my clients. Other than that...nobody else. Well, it's to be expected. My glasses broke. I need a new pair. Bleh. I wish my desktop was here. That'd take my mind a load of things. Then I can ignore the devil's whisperings and not feel like I'm about to implode on myself.

Well. Whatever. Life goes on. Work work work.

Project Red Wolf

2009-06-23T02:54:00.004+08:00

New world. New things. New experience. Well, it's been a while I've been stuck in my comfort zone. Time to start something. Well, I'm not sure how it's gonna go but here it is. One of my projects. =O
I've completed a project for BriD EX (Brunei International Defence Exhibition) just a few days ago, and soon I'll be working on another for Pusat Ehsan. At least this time around I've got decent clients. =O Well, if you're interested in getting me to work for you, just leave a message on the tagboard. If it's under time constraint and depending on the difficulty of the job, I do require extra payment. That is all.

I'm doing all this to build up on my portfolio. Well, I still have a bunch of projects to initiate, but let's start small, shall we? Wish me luck!

2009-06-19T02:59:00.000+08:00

Well. Something rotten just came up in my mind. It's not worth talking about so I guess I'll head off to sleep. Still have trouble adjusting my sleep pattern.

Long story short.

2009-06-19T01:38:00.001+08:00

Guy next to me on plane.
Kept farting.
All the way.
2 Hours.
Without going to the bathroom.
He.
Nearly killed me.
Argh.

Am home.
Am tired.
Set up my 'nest'.
Got to see dear again.
Her hair is nice.
Me likes.
Family is fine.

Tired.
Sleep.
Tomorrow lunch.
Yay.
But, dear's busy.
So, boo.
Need to make plans.
G'nights.

Counting Down..

2009-06-18T02:40:00.002+08:00

A few hours more.
I'll be able to see my family.
I'll be able to see you again.
It's been a while.
How much has changed?
What will the air be like?

------------------------

Just finished packing. Now transferring stuff from HDD to PC and laptop to HDD etc etc. Too lazy to format. Don't have my XP CD with me anyways. Without realizing it, it's been 6 months since we got back together. Time sure flies. Well, I'll see you again in a few hours. =)

Night folks. Will blog again when I arrive there.

2009-06-15T03:06:00.004+08:00

I'm ignored when I'm not needed.
Let me go home in peace.
I just wanna go home..and be with you.

Edit - 400th post. Lol. Not that anyone cares.

Today I...

2009-06-14T00:33:00.002+08:00

...feel like I wanna be a parent. But of course those feelings are just half-baked. I don't have the urges to have kids yet, eventhough I like them. Well, some of them. Not financially able either.

Went to Midvalley today. Met with Larrie, Roger and his gf. On my side was Ang, Sean and Ah Hao.

Well, details for Dvtx.

I saw a lot of things today. There's this pair, husband and wife just casually walking around. The wife was pregnant and she was talking to herself (or her baby) and the husband was like pointing out the baby stores and saying what stuff to get and all, seemed sweet to me. Wish I had my camera, would've made a great shot. Too bad I'm leaving it at Larrie's, since he needs it for his assignment.

Then later a floor above, I saw a baby rolling around a huge huge bed. Well, they had bedroom stuff on sale, and apparently this lady left her baby on the bed. So cute. I think it was a girl. Haha, she was there and the people around were just watching until the shopkeeper told them off. Spoilsport.

Made me all fuzzy inside though. But a little lonely too. A lot of couples out today. Or maybe there's this many couples out everyday, just that I never seem to notice since I'm mostly cooped up at home. People holding hands, clinging onto each other, being playful and stuff. Lol, almost makes me feel like tearing up. I only get that like..seasonally. Haha, if you put it that way. Well, I'm having heartburns, so I'm gonna go off to bed now. Will be updating on my other blogs soon. Nights.

Owari

2009-06-10T22:07:00.001+08:00

It's over. The semester I mean. It's time for some quality R and R. I look forward to going back. But first...issues to resolve here. Till' then.

Quote Analysis

2009-06-09T23:37:00.003+08:00

"There is no fate but what we make.." - John Connor

I like this quote. But it's hard to follow. It's easy to say that you want to make your fate. But sometimes things don't just go the way you want. And sometimes life is just cruel. But, given the chance..if you haven't done all you can, then can you say that you've tried your best? You -think- you're out of options. But have you really gone through each one of them? Not just think it? All Talk and No Action..did you really fight for the future you want?

"The pen is mightier than the sword.." - Edward Bulwer Lytton

Another one. It means words sometimes hurts more than actions do. Sometimes...think before you spew something out. Whether it is online, or to someone's face. You won't know. You might've taken a chunk of someone's confidence away..or the feelings they had for you might've been damaged. Next thing you know, you could've murdered someone with your words. It's no surprise. Some people have been driven to suicide by mere words, especially in Korea.

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage." -- Lao Tzu

The quote is self explanatory. It's apparently the 'mating' season (crude way to put it) all around. People hooking up faster than the speed of light. Next thing you know, they're all over each others throats. What happened to sorting things out? What happened to supporting each other? Trying to be an individual in a relationship? Things don't really work that way, unfortunately. Love takes two. Love by a single person without any return is called loneliness. Something I know pretty well.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most do. -- Dale Carnegie

This is probably me, lol.

You are where you are right now in your life because of the choices you have made and the actions you have taken. If you want to change your life, remember that change starts with you.
-- Jeffrey Keller

This. Very good. Why? Because it's easier said than done. But its something worth keeping in mind. Although change can come in many forms, good and bad. It depends I suppose.

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. -- Seneca

And this. Been there a few times..

Appreciate what you have with you, before it's gone. You can never tell the unexpected. What may be there one day, may be gone the next. Life is fragile like that. If you love someone, tell them everyday. If you miss someone, tell them right away. Once they're gone, you'd regret all you've never said. --Author Unknown

We've heard this many times. But how many of us actually appreciate our lives fully? I know I don't..What about you?

Lastly..

If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will.
-- Author Unknown

To Min dear, I miss you..

Numb

2009-06-09T12:03:00.003+08:00

As time draws near to the dreaded moment, your senses sharpen. You are numb to fear. It is not confidence. You are not giving up either. You do not care for the outcome, because the progress is all that mattered. You've tried your best. Soon, rest in peace.

Gfy

2009-06-07T21:44:00.002+08:00

Don't make a stressed out face when you have less work to do compared to me.

Don't make a stressed out face, when I'm the one doing the work for you.

I will hold you responsible, if anything goes wrong with my work.

Just because you can afford to be 'sambil lewa', don't put me in the same category as you.

For personal reasons, it's not -wrong-, but when others seek aid with the same method, it's -wrong-? Gfy.

Our semester ends in 3 days. I have 2 modules left. I have a -new- additional add-on to one of my assignments. How fucked up is that? First thing I hear when I get up today. Imagine that. So seriously, gfy.

Sometimes I find some people ludicrous, and also incredibly stupid. Inb4lrn2read.

And also..to Zy, my condolences for DumDum..may his feline soul rest in peace..Sorry to hear about it..Hope you manage to focus on your exams still.

Well, that about ends this post. I'm sick, and my temper is ye' high right now. I swear if I lose it I might as well get violent.

Tired

2009-06-07T08:53:00.002+08:00

It's official. I hate Typography Studies now. Hate it. At the end of this semester I've come from : "Oh it's definitely interesting, even if the lecturer is new, I think I'll enjoy it." to "Argh, the lecturer is making it worst everyday, how is this even related to typo?!"

Really. Tell me. How. Making a booklet. With packaging. And merchandise. Is anyhow related to typo at all? This sounds more like Design Studies from my early semesters.

There's typo and then there's the rest of marketing to do. You know what? I'm really tired.

Assignment Checklist

2009-06-06T03:02:00.002+08:00

-1 Typography Booklet
-1 WebSite Design
-2 Web Design Journals
-1 Design Research Journal
-1 Design Research Slideshow
-1 Marketing Slideshow
-1 Design Research Proposal

+1 Marketing Presentation
+1 Marketing Group Journal
+3 Marketing Essays
+1 Typo Journal
+3 Typefaces to convert in Fontlab

Zzz...after the + ones are done, I'm free for the semester. Well..there's still the weekend. Thank God its all theory module assignment. Cept' for typo, that sucks. I hope my passport issue gets resolved soon. The other day I went and forgot my passport lol..Hum. Well, I hope my sem break goes well too. Turn my life around or something..can't wait to see dear~ <3

2009-06-01T01:22:00.002+08:00

ARGGGGH I shouldn't be complaining like a wuss, fk fk FK. GAH. NEED TO WAKE UP. FK. FK. Need a wake up slap argh. FK. I'm only freaking human. Sigh.

It's that...It definitely is.

2009-06-01T01:02:00.005+08:00

[Begin Rant]

Yours for mine.
Mine for yours.

I bet this post is confusing. Don't worry, it's meant to be. Haven't had a good day. Basically I'm rotting on my own over here. Tried to keep a positive mindset but that only lasted a while. I guess that's still better than nothing. I wonder, have you tried working so long your eyes feel like they're bleeding just from trying to keep them open? Have you put your every soul into your work which you actually find unsatisfactory but have no choice due to time constraint? Lol.

Just doing a little bit of ranting. Words are but mere words. Right? Well, right now my throat is all sore and dried up for some reason, and I've got a fucked up headache that's making high pitched ringing sounds on the right side of my skull. Oh it's great fun. I guess complaining is useless, lol. Pushing my negatives onto others is irresponsible after all. Heh. So all I've got is the blog.

Well I guess that's about all the ranting I can do. Anymore and I'd be hurtful and insensitive. Here's to hoping my patience stays put.

A little attention wouldn't hurt sometimes...

[/End Rant]

Random

2009-05-27T19:28:00.002+08:00

It's a bizarre circus of crying souls,
Like a pierrot who doesn't know any tricks,
A parade of melancholy and silence,
A raving bad playing broken instruments,
The Midnight Circus has come to town.

2009-05-25T00:23:00.002+08:00

Well, I'm currently doing what I've been aiming for since the latter half of my high school years; that is studying Graphic Design, or at least something art related. I'm not super talented at art, but I think I've got a decent grasp on things.

So recently, not to say that I'm regretting my choice or anything. But some of the modules really piss me off. Modules are classes, or subjects, if you want to have it that way. During foundation we had about 6-7 modules per semester, and starting first year onwards they cut it down to 5.

So far all the modules have made sense and have been related to my course, one way or another. But then suddenly, there's Typographic Studies. It's fine, it's related. But the lecturer honestly sucks balls. He can't blame students if they don't wanna turn up for his class. He just sucks that bad, I think I've skipped most of his classes this sem. (Yeah I'm bad, bla bla...I got my attendance signed still.)

I understand learning typography, but so far he hasn't taught us anything. We learnt to design our own fonts on OUR OWN. We learned Fontlabs on OUR OWN. (Sort of) And guess what the final assignment is? Making a booklet. That's right. How the hell is that related to Typo at all? Plus we have to spend money making our booklets. The reason I chose Multimedia major is also because of the minimal amount of money I have to spend on making things because my craftsmanship sucks balls. Plus the booklet needs a concept. Garggghhhh, why can't I just make a regular booklet? -.- Why does it need to have 3D effects, popups, diecuts and embedding? Wtf so expensive you know? Gah. I haven't started on the booklet at all.

Now I've got Marketing, which I'm not so keen on doing for some obvious reasons..then there's Design Research, which is actually okay. Just need to get things in order. Web Design is fine too, just haven't really started coding..Then there's a couple of presentations lol. And why the hell do we need to present our booklets? Cannot just submit? -.- Sienz.

Anyways. Done ranting. I took the weekend off. Prolly tomorrow too. Gonna get working the whole of next week. Luckily Typo got delayed to Week 16...Nights.

Ambigram Fun

2009-05-18T03:17:00.004+08:00

This one is some sort of an imperfect Ambigram. This way it says Rain (with extra other stuff around it) but when you flip it over, it says Kevin. Hmm, I was planning to use these for a couple T Shirt Design (corny and mushy, yes I know) someday. Let's see how that goes.

It's RainMin =X When it's upside down it is also RainMin. XD Fun eh? I didn't design the type, but I did decorate it, although that isn't saying much. Dunno if I can get anymore, since it requires payment. =O I love you dear! <3>

2009-05-17T17:54:00.003+08:00

First of all, Happy Belated Birthday to my dear sister Zy~ And Happy Birthday to laupeh Jang~

I'm heading out for a haircut. There's about a month left for me here, and another month is long enough to grow a neckbeard with my hair. I don't think I want that.

Anyways, gonna cut my hair short, do my fringe, and then head to Korean BBQ to celebrate Jang's birthday. After that the guys might want to watch a movie. So why not? Haven't had any decent R and R (Rest and Relaxation) sessions in a while. Do some male bonding, or whatever you like to call it. Sausage fest?

Anyways, I have been overtaken by some kind of emotion which I don't know to describe. Motivation? Hmm well I feel like finishing up most of my work today and then have some decent rest for the rest of the week. There's like..2 presentations left. A couple of journals, a proposal and that's about it hm? I hope so. Wish me luck.

Well, that's all I suppose. Laters?

2009-05-17T00:11:00.002+08:00

So it's another post of random ranting.

Yeah, well, see, I can't help it. You can't blame me. Probably one of my idiosynchrosies.

Hmm, its night time. Or midnight, to be honest. It's cold. No, I'm not shirtless. Though that's probably not important.

Lesee. I need a haircut. Min has seen me. It's not pleasant. A few inches of hair away from being related to neanderthals.

I feel like having supper. Maybe later.

Yeah, no, maybe I'll stop now. I think putting some of my thoughts into words is just pointless. Some people never learn from their mistakes. As much as it ticks me off and makes me want to reveal my feelings, why don't you go learn a lesson? =O

2009-05-15T01:59:00.002+08:00

Well, I just got back from a walk. Well, the housemates are back now. They were out earlier. Lol, didn't bother going because I was lazy. Didn't feel like diving into my assignments because I don't feel like it, so for a moment I had nothing to do. But oh well. Gonna hit the sack now. The fries I had with my burger sucked lol, stomach don't feel so good now. Well, night all. Miss you lots dear <3

Crossroads

2009-05-12T22:29:00.002+08:00

You are born.
You are loved.
You learn to walk.
You go to school.
You grow up, make friends.
You end the first phase of your life.

Then you begin to think about the future, or you put the plans you've been making during the first phase in motion.

The plan goes your way. Or it doesn't. You screw up, have regrets, then move on.
The experience is valued, you try not to mess up the next time. You pass the experience on.
You hope nobody repeats your mistake. But again, shit happens.

Life is a funny thing. Human beings are funnier. After a thousand years of civilization, we don't change much. Our clothes, the way we talk, the way we work change. The way we think...I think it doesn't change much. Yes, I'm speaking from another point of view. Because I can, and I'm analyzing.

You are born lucky, everything is given to you, you make things work, but there are expectations to fill in, you are under constant pressure. Or, you end up thinking you're superior, you take things lightly, your mess around, screw up, grow old, and find it too late to regret.

You are born common, you work your way through life, if you need something, you make the best of things, you walk till your legs bleed to be better. Life is bittersweet.

Lol, don't mind me, I'm rambling random nonsense according to my jumbled up thoughts.

Here I am, living the life I planned ever since I was in Form3. No no, I don't have any regrets. Just, responsibilities are hard to bear, you know? Funny, life gets tougher every year. But then there's a lot to be thankful for..so I guess I can't complain.

If you don't start somewhere, you'll go nowhere.

Well..choices choices, make sure you weigh your options out.

I guess that's all. Gonna take a break from work and probably watch a few shows or something. No, not porn. =D

Random Update

2009-05-02T14:24:00.003+08:00

It's been quite a while since my last blog. I do visit sometimes, to remove the occasional spam. Been busy handling my assignments. Still have a proposal to finish, a booklet to create, and another website. Oh yes, and an imaginary company to manage. Doesn't seem like much but it's really quite difficult..considering how demanding our lecturers are this semester. Aaanyways, I won't be updating as often, unless there's something big going on.

Currently though:

1) I'm growing my hair long. Not gonna cut it till before I'm going back to Brunei, which is like..around June.
2) Drunk Seng is funny.
3) Ang's birthday is coming soon. Means karaoke night is on this coming Wednesday.
4) Wolverine movie was good. I like the reference to 300 when Wolverine kicks Deadpool into the pit. Gambit pwns.
5) ...Can't think of anything else. =O

Edit: Ah right, don't forget to add my new (spare) MSN address : feralwolf76@live.com because my old one isn't accessible for the time being. I'm freezing it until MSN resolves the bug.